Reverently Alone

I wish self-confidence was something physical and tangible so I could take it in my hands or keep it in my pocket so I didn't have to look for it on a daily basis. As I step further away from parental guidance I find my self-belief diminishing and this nihilistic, shirking form invade where I lose all sense of self worth and intellectual assertiveness. It's funny what ability the modern surroundings have in reducing someone (namely me) into a reclusive and unassured mess of indignation and unease. Tempted by the consumerist plight of the media and capitalism I am then thrust back into the grasp of self-depreciation because I'm not boasting whatever perverse bodily form the fashion magazines are imposing upon our increasingly impressionable youth.

People wonder why I'm isolationist. I'm just looking for an escape, I care no longer whether it is something I have materially and fictionally conjured up between the pages of books and comics, between the four walls of my room that I feel I will never grow to resent. As long as I never have to face up to what the World expects me to be I think I'm going to be just fine.