Da(w)g Nasty

I never realised looking after a puppy would be such a complete consumption of my physical and mental morale. This dog I'm sitting isn't just any regular West Highland terrier with adorable ears and big eyes, it is Satan's hound out to literally ruin any ability I possess to remain sane. Following is a shortened list I have comprised of the havoc she has caused in 10 days:

Pissing on the carpet,
pissing on the kitchen floor,
pissing on the laundry,
walking shit through the house,
puking in the front room after eating what appears to be a yard's worth of grass,
jumping up me so many times it looks like Edward Scissor hands has been fondling my legs,
chewing my blackberry case to obliteration,
refusing to walk any longer half way around the block....

additional, less prominent things come to mind but just relating what I have previously typed makes me sigh in exasperation. Thank God I've never been dumb enough to get pregnant, I can't even handle a fucking dog.