I feel ill today. A kind of 'i slept too long' ill that makes me dizzy and the fresh air from the window gratifying. Esentially, i feel rough. I want to shower but not yet, i want to dry my hair and admire it for once, not wish it was someone else's.
I'm feeling that kind of shallow where you're thankful for someone else having a bad day, or knowing that you're prettier than your ex's new conquest. A guilty shallow.
I did nothing today, how unaccomplished. I braved the outdoors for 1lb of carrots and a packet of fruitella. I shamefully glanced at anyone who happened to spot me out in my hoody and shorts, hair untamed and face naked and hope they didn't recognise that yes i felt like a mess and yes i was hoping they weren't looking at me like i was looking at them. For approval.
I guess you could say that mood; disgruntled. I don't like feeling like the kid everyone calls a skank at school. But i can't help waking up at 3pm and not wanting to get dressed. I sink with ease into lounging in pjs, eating weetabix infront of afternoon cartoons and doing the chores without haste or precision. Changing the sheets of my bed while i sway to Blink and hoovering with a notion of my feet not quite touching the ground. I'm quite apathetic asides my own disappointment at my failure for carpe diem.
Tomorrow when i go 'sweet rims' shopping i hope i'll seize the day. I have to get up at 9am; questionably a positive start. Probably not.
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