Wednesday, 26 March 2008

Gloom and how it gets that way.

I haven't felt so removed from liberation or energy in my whole life than i have the past 48 hours. I can't even begin to explain how ultimately dire, or shit it has been and that contemplating suicide, or maybe genocide couldn't be more plausible.

I've managed to lose money, petrol, a newly-bought 12mm plug, any free time i could possibly possess in spring break, and any sense of feeling in my body that isn't aches and pains. Having to work two days unexpected and then being told i can't do what i want to do with remaining free time this week has not only resulted in me feeling desperately sorry for myself, but i just ate enough chocolate to kill a dog and am in my pj's at 5.45 (and have been since about 5.15..).

I think partially i make things so difficult on myself but seeing as having to keep an eye on a 12year old brat has induced me under house arrest for the next 48hours i am sure i have enough time to mull over why i am so 'difficult' and catch up on sleep/sims life.

What could possibly go right? I sat on the shower floor and cried this afternoon.

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