I don't think anyone could be more impertinent (or in larger self denial) to claim jealousy isn't occasionally one of life's more hard-to-deal-with hinderances. I always find myself wishing/wanting/desiring what others have that i don't. Beyond the general self-hatred/transferred hatred that affiliates itself with envy, i see it as a means of self-progression and acceptance and a general strive to better our own being or even get what we want.
In lame-mans terms i want more money and more knowledge. Not as fickle as the tendancy for nicer hair I often crave or longer legs; its considerably attainable and something i'll have to sacrifice possibly my social life for in order to accumulate. Yeah..like this is going to happen.
Past self criticism and exploration, I gave my first Auschwitz lesson today and couldn't have sounded more like an asshole. I wanted to finish my talk with something deeply reverent or insightful but logged off with mumblings of the British Government trying to cover their arse, some drivel about the war in Iraq and an ode to people dying. Attach the label of 'poet' to my name now before i tortured-artist-style kill myself.
Or at least recognise me for my achievements, irrespective of my mistakes.
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